Tell me which pain do I choose?
The pain that is invisible to you, so that I can be someone you were expecting to see,
Or should I choose to be me, the girl who’s never afraid of doing what she came here to do, and deal with the pain of losing you? Tell me, which pain do I choose?
You could travel the world and still find no place that feels like home…
Everywhere you go makes you feel uncomfortable..
& when meeting new people , you don’t feel loveable…
This can bring you a lot of fear…
The thought that the world is a beautiful place becomes unclear….
Once this becomes your reality…
Start questioning your mentality…
Maybe your discomfort was always there..
From the very day you were born , home was found nowhere..
The idea that reality is a reflection of our beliefs , may look so strange to most of us right now, but our choices and our personalities are definitely a reflection of what we believe to be true about our life and about us ..
Here are some examples that show where we might have limiting beliefs and unhealed past wounds:
1- You seek to be perfect
( deep down you MAY have the belief that who you are is not enough)
2- You want to please everyone ( You grew up believing that there’s something wrong about you and that everyone will leave you if you don’t fit into their mold)
3- You’re someone who’s constantly apologizing and saying thank you (MOST PROBABLY, you were ashamed of yourself as a kid and you thought that you were responsible for everything bad that happened.
4-You’re someone who everyone perceives as a lazy person ( subconsciously you believe that everything you do is meaningless and useless and that you deserve nothing at all, so why put the effort in the first place ??)
5-You’re someone who always end up in a bad relationship where you feel ignored , betrayed and hurt ,,( deep down you believe that you deserve to be treated badly).
6 – You’re a prisoner of any bad habit ( You’re in so much pain that you feel like you need something to numb you. )
7- You make everyone laugh and you feel like you shouldn’t be stopping it… ( This actually MIGHT indicate that you believe that you’re so unlovable ,and that people can’t stand being around you because you have nothing special to offer)
8- You hide your opinions and thoughts from other people ( deep down you fear rejection ; as a kid or as a teenager you were laughed at and everyone around you made you feel bad about yourself …..
This is what most humans look like on a deeper level, but change is possible; first you have to heal and healing starts when you do the things that scares you a lot, by this I mean that you have to expect people hating you and laughing at you, you have to expect failures and loneliness .
When you choose to do the very thing that you’re afraid of doing, you empty your vessel of all the chaos that once was suppressing your truest self….
The biggest lie societies teach us is that who we are is based on the actions we take, the words we say and the choices we make.
I’ve spent years living by this belief until one day I knew that pain was doing it all for me ; the actions the words and the choices. Pain expressed itself through me.
I always thought that kindness, love and laughter were part of my identity but then I knew that even these characteristics aren’t even a glimpse of my real self. I was actually expressing those traits out of the belief that I wasn’t good enough and that I should always put an effort to be loved.
It’s not that now I’m someone who is unkind, and cruel it’s just that I stopped expressing them out of fear.
I grew up believing that people who are somehow perfect are the only ones who deserve to be loved, so I spent most of my life trying to succeed at everything, trying to do the best that I can in order to be lovable, I never believed that who I was was actually enough.
Eventually, my life started reflecting all the limiting beliefs I had in my childhood but I didn’t understand that until everything in my life became unbearable and somehow everything was falling apart.
It was then that I started to understand how reality actually functions, as if something bigger than me was guiding me to real information and when I came along such information everything started to make sense to me, I came to acknowledge the secret behind our inner world and the fact that each one of us is a creator; we actually do create our own realities and we do so by the beliefs we have deep down.
Be brave enough to say : ” I don’t know , I think I might need your help.” ,
Instead of acting like you have it all figured out .
Be brave to say :
“I was bullied ” , “I was made fun of ” , “As a kid I was lonely.” Or ” I AM lonely now”.
Be brave to say: :” I’m afraid that they’ll take advantage of me , instead of being so cold around people, so that you’ll stay safe.
Be brave to be alone if you’re someone who loves solitude , and stop hanging out with a bunch of fake friends just to impress other people..
Dare to say: “I’m so depressed ” , instead of acting like you’re happy so that others will stay around you.
Don’t wait until you succeed to share your failures share them right now!!
Tell other people that you like them, instead of acting like you’re so unreachable..
Dare to say : ‘ I feel so embarrassed ” and stop acting like you don’t care what other people think of you …
Speak your heart even if it makes everyone uncomfortable , after all we’ve been programmed to be unreal for many many years and we were taught to believe that honesty and vulnerability are signs of foolishness.
Choose to be real and honest , people might find it so weird but after some time your words and your story will heal them , they’ll start to be more open especially after realizing that they too at some point had the same experiences….
Eventually they’ll remember what it’s like to be a human..
You live your life waiting for the moment when your dreams will come true so that you can love yourself…
You wait endlessly for the right person to come so that you’ll never stay alone by yourself…
You keep searching for validation in people’s eyes to an extent that you become so afraid of leaving your comfort zone .
Yes I know these things are so beautiful ( people’s validation , successes,& life partners..)
But do you know what’s more beautiful???
Having to lose them all !!!
You’d then be forced to take the self discovery path which is so uncomfortable, but the thing about it, is that you have nothing to lose!